Gods Bound by Rules
by Senom299
Summary: She remembers the first time that the board was declared set, the first time that she believed that she actually had a chance to win. And then the twilight plague ripped her plans asunder. In a world locked in sleep after the death of its hero, it must be known that the divines never forgive and certainly never forget. A retelling of Twilight Princess.
1. Neither Divine Nor Royal Could Do It

Smoke and ashes flooded a city that sheltered only ghosts, and the rain could do nothing to stop it no matter how its torrents raged. And even as their sanctuary was torn asunder, not a single one of them knew that the light was being ripped away from the earth's heart.

It made her sick, frankly.

Or maybe it was just the mixture of the scents of cinders and a storm that made her stomach knot in a way that was unbefitting of combat and espionage. It was hard to tell; both were disgusting to her. Fire and water were not to be mixed so that one could not outmatch the other and be gone within the hour. The fact that this unholy combination still existed was proof enough that maybe it was no fire that caused the castle to bleed shadows, but rather a synthetic magic intended to strike despair into the human heart.

The corridor was barely lit, no thanks to the twilight that hung over the earth like an ill omen. Stained glass with visages of myths stood almost menacingly where it had been left in the wall decades ago, glinting only by the light of a torch being clutched in two hands that felt too fragile for the woman who would consider herself an army of one to call her own. Her lips curved downwards; the entire affair was distasteful, but necessary. She rose from her knees, darting across the stone floors with cloak billowing in air that was almost frightfully still as it was cold. Up stairs dyed with the blood of soldiers who had tried to defend the throne was the ascent, and finally to a hall that framed a tribute to the gods.

If anything, her scowl deepened. The statues of the Golden that had once hung over the nation's throne, defiled. Beasts of shadow turned in their feast upon the castle guards that had been foolish enough to return to challenge their king, faces that had no eyes fixing upon the intruder who posed about as visible of a threat.

"King of Shadows, I'll assume." The woman jutted her chin, tossing the torch casually forward; one of the beasts leapt forward and smothered the flames with its maw. It lunged for its bearer, but she had already reached into the folds of her cloak to draw a curved cutlass. With a flash of steel, the monster stumbled back, arms flailing and head reared in pain. If she hadn't already grabbed the attention of the room, she certainly had it now as a dozen other of the beasts prepared to lunge-

At the chamber's head, a hand lifted. Or at least, she assumed it was meant to be a hand. It looked more like a carpet.

... Speaking of carpets.

_These boots were clean when I came here._ _I don't believe this._

"You should be dead where you stand." The voice that rang across the royal hall sounded more like labored breathing than words. Either it was the mask, or she was eyeing a monster with the ability to speak overshadowed by respiratory problems. Wouldn't _that_ be a sight. "No one in this castle was to be left alive."

"I can tell. You didn't bother to pick the bodies up off of the floor, otherwise there'd be _much _less blood on my shoes right now." She reached up with her free hand and drew her hood back, copper strands falling freely down her back and amber eyes aglow with hatred. "You really didn't want to make this very easy for me, did you?"

There was a chance that the monster sneered at her. _Oh, that's going on your permanent record if that's what I think it was. _"Should I be intimidated? You speared through a pawn without sentience. Very impressive. Tell me who you are, girl, and maybe your death for your world will be painless."

The woman sneered right back. "I'm a _girl,_ am I? I suppose I could tell you what I think of you, but I don't stoop to the level of beasts." She gripped the hilt of her blade in both hands, the awareness of a dozen faceless souls staring at her clearly present in her brain. "Hilarious that a monster would refer to a god as a girl. Once upon a time, my friend, the armies of Hyrule were forged of flames that burn hotter than those of jealousy and false pride. They sang praises to the gods that hailed from the heavens above, and none as prevalent as those of the patron to dreamers and warriors. They worshipped a champion of the desert, one whose blade would be held by the flaming arms that cultivated this earth-"

The monster let out a distorted cough that almost seemed to be covering a different reaction.

"... Did you just _yawn_ at me?" She asked, baffled.

"I do not _yawn_," he shot back, but the woman began to step forward with her blade raised. "Your tales of victory are exciting, yes, it's _quite _clear to me who you are-"

"Obviously not, or else _this _wouldn't be littering your floor." She stopped only long enough to raise her foot and plant it on top of the severed head of one of the statues. "That's enough. I came to get revenge on you, beast of the twilight. And once your body is a pile of ashes, maybe I'll burn down Hyrule for fun. Listen to my wor-"

She was interrupted by one of the smaller beasts knocking her to the side with one arm. Her grip on her blade loosened out of shock, and it went sliding across the floor to the feet of the King of Shadows: who knelt and grabbed it from the floor. Heavens only knew how.

"If you were truly divine, you would have done as you say minutes ago." He stated dryly, walking toward the fallen self-proclaimed deity. "Now listen to _my _words, nameless wretch. You were entertaining while you lasted. Thank you for that. And now, you die the same way you entered: entirely too loudly."

She gritted her teeth together and began to crawl to her feet, but a blast of energy took that ability from her. A body that was no longer controlled shattered a wall and was flung into the hands of fate.

Fate decided that it did not like being put on the spot and promptly dropped the body into the fields of Lanayru Province so that a few Wolfos could do the job in its stead.

And the castle continued to burn. But not in the way the intruder desired.

**0-0-0**

"... and so basically what happened was, Zant smacked her with a beach ball of dark magic and it's the funniest thing I've seen since _your face_."

Princess Zelda found herself in a situation that could not be compromised, one that could only be described as finding herself at a complete loss for words because an imp was relaying to her the events of a kingdom that had been hers literally an hour ago. On top of that, the soldier she'd manipulated the agreement to let live if he kept an eye on her and escorted her around _her own castle_ had decided to taunt one of the monsters that now roamed the halls and had died a quite gruesome death. The soldier wasn't a real loss (Jerry had been an ass anyway), but her dress kind of _was _rendered impractical to wear until she found a way to get it washed without losing any more lives she was in charge of. Her alternate outfit wasn't warm enough for the drafts combined with a world without sunshine, and so she was forced to sit in her bedchamber with a dark, heavy mourning cloak.

Irony, she decided, was a witch that was out there somewhere, laughing at her misfortune.

"... and how _did _this person manage to get all the way up to the throne hall, again?" She tried. Getting the answer you wanted out of this particular imp was a task that most people would call impossible. Still, the monarch found herself feeling foolish enough to try. So pointed teeth were bared in a ridiculous grin back at her.

"I'unno."

"You don't know." Zelda buried her face in her hands for a moment, then rubbed her eyes and looked back up. "Midna, really. Tell me what you saw."

"Hey, I was only there to really see her make Twili Messenger shish kabob and then get punted through your wall." Midna shrugged, hovering about a foot above the floor and lying on her stomach, examining her nails that were really closer to claws for all they looked like. In a lighter situation that didn't involve monsters consuming humans around every corner of the castle, Zelda would have offered her a manicure. Those things scared her more than Zant ever could. "Mm, let me think again. Hair that looked like a bunch of twigs, traveler's cloak, _really _liked her shoes-man, I agree, you should really invest in getting these carpets cleaned, Princess."

"Take that up with Zant, not me." Zelda gave her a dull look, then paused. "... Wait. You said she was able to attack one of the Messengers? So she could take a corporeal form?"

"Yeah, I thought that was kinda weird too, but..." The imp flipped herself upward into a position almost akin to standing, except she was still at a slouch. "You're weird. I'm weird. Everybody in this castle is weird."

"No Hylian except me should be able to take a corporeal form in this twilight. Midna, that's what I was told in this agreement." The princess stood, causing her companion to float back with a slightly indignant noise. "_Only those who bear the mark of the gods_."

"Oh, yeah, she said something about people singing about those. The gods, I mean." Midna reached up and began feeling the point of her canines with her finger-claws. "Is that important?"

"... I don't know, but I'm about to ask my own god if it is." Zelda decided, rolling up her left sleeve so she could see her own bare hand. The faint outline of golden triangles laid on the skin like dull scratches.

"If this is some kind of ritualistic ceremony that involves blood, there's a great supply out there I can go collect for you."

"Midna, _no_." She sighed in an attempt to collect herself before reaching out with her mind for the celestial wisdom of the seas. It was a gift bestowed upon her by her lineage, one that allowed her to call upon the heavens to part the clouds that hung over her mind and-

"_Hi, Nay-nay here! If you're hearing this, I've gotten bogged down in some serious divine paperwork issues or I'm away from my desk. No clue why, though. Leave a message after the harp and I'll be sure to get back to you with some words of enlightenment. Best of luck!_"

Zelda resisted the urge to smack her forehead against the wall.

"Uhh, Princess? You okay? You were drooling for a second there." Midna frowned.

"Yes, Midna. I am completely fine and my god is somehow too busy to talk to me." She replied with as much sarcasm as her upbringing allowed. "... So much for great divine intervention. Don't you know where that intruder landed? Couldn't you go see if she's still alive? It's starting to look like that's our only lead on the situation right now."

"Ooh, dramatic. I like it." The imp clapped her hands together and somersaulted in the air. "You want me to bring her back here or what?"

"To get killed for real if she's not dead already?_ No_. Go see if you can't do something productive, like save my kingdom for me. I'll get my will prepared." The princess sighed.

"... I want your sword."

"Midna, that's not even mine to give anymore."

"Killjoy."

**0-0-0**

Well, Nayru wasn't at her desk, that much was for certain.

She _was_, however, hovering over a whirlpool in the middle of the Great Sea in another world, currently taking out her stress on a boat full of sailors. Usually she would have more courtesy for human lives, but every so often storms happened. She had human habits such as temper tantrums. And so, the Goddess of Wisdom sat atop the clouds, furiously weaving crowns of seaweed between her fingers.

"_Where_. _Is. My. Sister._"

"Well, maybe you're not going about the right way of looking for her." Farore sat on the cliffs of an island that had recently been, for lack of a better term, evicted. "Din's as temperamental as you are. Maybe she's bathing in a volcano somewhere because she doesn't want to talk to you." The last of the trinity shrugged and dangled her feet over the water, watching lilies bloom and abruptly be pulled by the tide into Nayru's wrath. "Didn't you two just have a fight a few years ago?"

Nayru blew out a puff of chilled air, pouting as she did. "Din can't stay undercover for _that _long. She'd get bored. She's _up to something_, Farore, and I want to find out what before it bites us all in the behinds."

It was around this moment that the ship she'd been toying with abruptly sunk under the waves.

"You could've saved 'em." Farore tutted with distaste. "C'mon, Nayru, let's get you back onto the divine plane. Or we can go get drunk in that village over there. Everything looks better when you're six glasses in."

"Or worse." The elder goddess grumbled.

"Well, you never know until you start." Her sibling declared with cheer, grabbing her by the shoulders and steering her across the waves. The clouds began to part and the whirlpool calmed as they went.

"... I feel like one of my champions is trying to call on me." Nayru frowned suddenly.

"Meh, probably a teenage princess who wants dating advice. Tell her he's secretly gay later. Trust me, I'm an expert." Farore rolled her eyes. "To the village. To drinks. Now. I need this as much as you do."

"... You're sounding more like her every day."

"Oh, good. that means I'm growing up. You two should try it sometime."


	2. Cold, Dead Legends

_Splash._

The forests of the Faron and Ordona Provinces were notorious for being cold at night. Anyone who lived there, whether it be the man villagers referred to as _that crazy old hippie with infinite lanterns_ or the mayor of Ordon Village himself, could tell a visitor that much.

Unfortunately, the cold air made the spring water feel twice as cold when the Goddess of Power found herself dropped unceremoniously into a pool of it.

The chill combined with the shock was enough to finally force her eyes open after about a day and a half of unconsciousness. This turned out to be a terrible idea, considering that as soon as she could register the fact that she was underwater, she also registered that there was water up her nose, in her ears, and obstructing her vision.

She found the bottom of the pool with one foot-it was really very shallow, she had just been dropped on her back so it seemed like she was drowning in a bloody _lake-_-and pushed up, freeing her face from further intrusion and sputtering the whole way up before finally finding herself able to gasp for air. As mentioned before, the air was also cold and therefore not much better than the water.

Din coughed several times, planting one elbow on the sand of the spring and using her free-floating hand to pick the blades of grass from her hair. The ugly, dull human hair she'd submitted herself to owning that looked perfectly like the mud she'd just kicked up. She had just begun her conquest to put an end to the Twilight plague that had gotten in her way, and already she had been blasted into the oblivion of a pool not unlike one nobles would sit their children in to amuse them. Not only that, but she had basically been _bested_ by the pool. Completely at its mercy. Bad omens, indeed.

She was also made very aware of the sensation that someone was watching-along with the confirmation from her senses that said someone was also _laughing at_-her.

"Woooow_,_ so _scary_," a high-pitched voice giggled from... _somewhere_ in the spring. Din gritted her teeth together. "So you're the lady who tried to stand up to Zant, huh? That worked out pretty well for you."

The deity set about ignoring the voice as it continued, rather focusing on getting into a standing position and wading out of the "deep" water, shivering the whole way. Her cloak had disappeared somewhere in the blast, leaving her with a modified, sleeveless red tunic and string of pearls around her neck. Neither was doing her much good soaked. She reached behind her for her twin swords, but only found one of them in its sheath.

"... and you lost that sword of yours in the blast. It's a real pity, isn't it?"

Din's eyes narrowed. She needed to cut something with the sword that she still had left, but it was probably a better idea to composer herself and figure out where she'd landed first. The abundance of water was making her think of Lanayru Province, but the sandy spring pointed to any province but.

A shadow suddenly popped out of the ground, hovering inches away from her face with thin arms folded across its chest. She'd pin it as a pixie... sprite... genie? The right word was escaping her. Whatever it was, she found herself almost jealous of the giant hand dangling from its hair.

"Hey! Are you paying any attention to me?"

"Well, I am now that you're in my way." She took a step back, reaching back again to pull out her remaining sword. "And I'll cut you down if you don't get out of it."

It was an imp, she realized, an imp that was floating in front of her and grinning like she hadn't just threatened it-or her. Yes, it had to be a her. "I'm _so _intimidated. Y'know, considering you just got shot through a wall and I took all the trouble of bringing you here to this spring so you wouldn't die, I think I deserve some gratitude. What do you think?"

The goddess raised an eyebrow, slowly lowering her sword. "You... _brought _me here. From where?" She paused. "I wouldn't have died, either. It takes a lot more than a little bit of magic to kill me, imp."

"Well, I don't really want to tell you anymore since you just insulted me." The creature yawned-Din's eye twitched-and rotated in the air into a position on her stomach. "Are you really sure you want to keep glaring at me like that? I was thinking about trying to help..."

"No, thanks." Din turned to the side and headed for a gate in the spring. "I don't need any help. I just need to get on my way."

"You don't even know where you _are_. I wouldn't go out there right now, if I were you."

She began to head through the gate, but a barrier materialized-shadowy stakes rained upon the sand, interlocked by orange static. The imp giggled again.

"Eeh hee... guess neither of us are going anywhere anytime soon, huh?"

Din whirled around, grasping her sword in both hands. "Take. The barrier. Down. _Now._"

The imp shrugged. "Hey, I'm not the one who put this barrier here. You wanna talk to that other guy."

"What do you mean, _that other g_-"

One of the shadow beasts from the castle fell from the sky, heralded by a guttural screech and a black-and-cyan portal hanging high above the ground. Clouds of sand and drops of water scattered around the spring, and the imp darted behind Din.

"You're a pro at taking down these things, right? I'll watch from a safe distance. The barrier won't go down until you've defeated it, so... have fun!"

With that, she floated above the arena, as close to the edge of the barricaded area as she could get without being shocked. Din gaped for a few moments, then finally turned to face the faceless monster.

"... I'm guessing she meant you when she mentioned _the other guy_."

The beast only screeched at her in reply, lunging forward and swiping its arm in what was probably an attempt to take her head off with it if she hadn't lifted her sword and stabbed at its face, forcing it backwards.

Unfortunately, that was all it did.

A small, metallic _clang _was just audible enough to be heard even from the imp's vantage point, because she burst out laughing at this.

"Is that all you've got? C'mon, you're never going to beat Zant that way! ... Especially because those things have the same guarded spot as he does. Maybe he got dropped on his head one too many times and finally learned a lesson. As for where you want to hit now, that's your problem."

"My sword in _your_ face is about to be _your _problem as soon as I finish this thing off." Din growled, but nevertheless eyed the shadowy messenger-and consequently, the red glyphs on its stomach. "... That could work."

This time she lunged first, rushing forward and slashing across its chest. This seemed to do the trick, because it stumbled backwards again with a howl and fell over.

"Wait, that's all he has?" The goddess blinked. The imp descended back to eye level.

"Well, yeah. If you cut into a human in the right place, he's gonna bleed to death, right? Same goes for most residents of the twilight world." The beast whined pitifully this time, clawing at the sand before it finally disappeared and the barrier dispersed. "That's just science."

"Hyrule's not all about science." Din raised an eyebrow. "Its citizens aren't all about you, either, so it'd be nice if you went away."

"_Now_?" She dragged out the word. "We just met and you're already telling me to leave? Wow, you're rude."

_Could the two of you _please_ keep your voices down? There's a village in mourning nearby. _

The sand beneath them took on a gentle golden glow, which spread to the farther reaches of the spring and traveled up in rune-like patterns on the rocks that jutted forth. A sphere rose from the water, heralding the appearance of what to most people would appear to be a large, divine, and quite shiny goat.

Despite not having any visible fur, the spirit shook itself in a manner not unlike a dog shaking itself off after you try to bathe it. _... Well, that was rude of me. Let me try that again. Thank you for protecting my spring from the onset of the shadow creatures. Thank you also for probably disturbing the nearby townsfolk in their time of pain, because your voices could probably attract the goddesses to come back down from the heavens._

Din rolled her eyes, but eyed the ghostly goat contemplatively. "... I should know who you are, shouldn't I?"

"Probably not." The imp reestablished her presence at the goddess's side. "Not many humans are honored to look upon a light spirit, right?"

_Your companion assumes correctly. _The light spirit goat dipped its head, although an air of irritation still hung around the spring. _I am Ordona, one of the four light spirits that protect Hyrule at the behest of the gods. _

Din's frown deepened, but she said nothing.

_Stranger to the forest and stranger to the world of light, you have arrived at a very inopportune time. My brethren in Hyrule's mainland have had their light stolen by fell beasts such as the one you just slew. The entire kingdom has been reduced to a netherworld ruled by the cursed powers of darkness. _Ordona took a shuddering breath; it seemed that even light spirits were suspect to old age. So many the gods hadn't given them _that _much power. Funny, she remembered creating all of the light spirits but this one. _This blight will not stop with Hyrule. The entire world of light will soon fall into the hands of the king who rules the twilight, and the hero who was destined to recover the lost light... he has fallen._

The imp took a sharp breath that may have been taken as a gasp, but she appeared to have the composure to make it seem only irregular.

"It's him that the villagers are mourning, then. He came from here, he died here, and now they don't even know it but they're all doomed to an eternity in the twilight." Din's frown persisted. "You refer to us as strangers, but you still tell us the tale of Hyrule's suffering. Why did you bother taking a corporeal form to begin with?"

Ordona's eyes bored into the both of them. _A being made of purely light must hold onto some hope, no matter how small. I witnessed you defeat a shadow beast, which proves to me that you have the ability to defeat all of them. Tell me, traveler, from whence does your power come?_

Well, that figured. "You've got me." The goddess lifted her hands. "The gods decided that this world was worth saving and sent a messenger to fulfill the task that dead heroes can't. As such..." She turned her bare left hand over, the thin outlines of triangles visible but not remarkably distinct. "... the Triforce of Courage was passed from the hero's body to me."

Well, it wasn't technically _untrue_-the technical owner of this body had been set to a task that would fulfill the wish she called upon the gods for, and in the process of completing it she had gained the Triforce of Courage from a timeline that, coincidentally enough, also had lost its hero. If Ordona couldn't sense the true divinity inside the mortal body, than either Din was currently weaker than she thought or this light spirit was truly stupid.

_... I see. _The light spirit nodded. _... You are weak, messenger of the gods. Your injuries can only be ignored for so long without proper rest. Return to the site of the hero's death for his blessing after you recover, and journey to the Faron Woods to revive the light spirit and undertake the quest that he could not._

"Wait, what? No." Din blinked. "I'm fine, I don't need to return here-I can just go to the woods now, can't I?"

Even as she spoke, however, she felt the traces of sleep that had entranced her before the spring water had shocked her awake pulling her back down. The world dimmed at the edges; the light in the spring faded away. The imp hovered above her, even as she fell.

"... Well, I guess that's that," the false messenger heard her note cheerfully as she crumpled to the ground. "I'll be seeing you real soon, and we're going to talk about how I can help you and how you can help me."

... She heard nothing after that, not even the shouts of a village man waving a torch and beckoning for aid from his neighbors.

**0-0-0**

Bulbins, as it turned out, were not very intelligent creatures.

As far as monsters went, they were geniuses: they used tools, they took command of boars, they had a notable hierarchy, heck, some people even debated they had a dental plan. (This was disproved by the children of Ordon-namely Talo, who had gotten into a raspberry-blowing contest with one to occupy himself. Needless to say, he lost quickly.) But compared to humans, they were still extremely lacking in the brainpower department.

"Beth, quit kicking me!"

"I'm not kicking you, now get your grubby hands off of me!"

... This was gloriously exemplified in how they'd decided to split the children up: Beth and Talo in one rope sack (the only logical explanation being to keep the two that moved the most from moving too much), and then Ilia, Colin, and Malo all being in separate bags. It was a wonder why they didn't just split all five of them up completely or put them all together. But then again, over the past two hours everyone but Ilia had been rearranged twice and privileged to watch Bulbins fight over whether there was time for a break, as well just bounced around uncomfortably for a while. Ilia was still unconscious, or at least so far as they could tell. She may have just been in a silent state of shock like Colin, who had been awake for at least an hour but hadn't opened his mouth once. There was still no indication of where they were going. Hopefully, as Malo had suggested, if they were to be eaten it probably would have happened by this point.

The monster who had tied Talo and Beth to the back of its saddle made a noise that was a hybrid between a grunt and a screech and their ride slowed as one proceeded up ahead of the pack. Talo scowled and attempted to hoist the bag up enough so they could see over and ahead by slipping his fingers through the tiny gaps in the bag and gripping at the saddle.

"_Quit _it-!" Beth began again, shooting a sharp look upward-and earned a hand clapped over her mouth in response.

"Shh! I'm tryna see what's going on!" He hissed, peering around the Bulbin rider. "... We're at some kind of gate. I think they're gonna bust it down."

"Wait, but isn't that big head honcho guy behind us?" Beth yanked Talo's hand down from her face, lowering her voice to a whisper as she did so anyway. It was true; King Bulbin was far behind them, flanked by at least two dozen smaller riders on all sides. "Why doesn't _he _break it down?"

"I wouldn't do the dirty work if _I _were in charge," Malo mumbled from a few feet away, crossing his arms over his chest. He seemed the most vocally resigned to whatever their fate may have been. "That's a really good idea. We might be about to enter the castle town..."

Beth's eyes suddenly glowed with excitement, but Talo shook his head. "There's no way. Colin's dad said the castle town is surrounded by lots of grass and water. This place is like... really dry and dusty. I think we're going into some kind of canyon. ... Hey, what was that look for, Beth? You're not gonna marry some kind of prince while the castle town gets _raided_." He punctuated this with a look of disgust. Beth rolled her eyes and opened her mouth as if to make a retort, but a deafening crash of the gate being torn down prompted all three of the children who still had their wits about them to stop talking._  
><em>  
>Almost immediately, the rest of the riders and their boars reared into action, initiating a mad stampede forward into the canyon. Beth groaned, glancing off to the dead grass rushing by them.<p>

"I'm going to be sick."

"Do it after the rest of us are dead, please." Malo sighed in return.

**0-0-0-0-0**

_Howdy! Sorry to lull you guys into a false sense of security by not introducing author notes until the end of the second chapter, but I decided to just test the water with these two chapters to see how things worked out for this story._

_And _wow_, testing the water was a really good idea. Thank all of you readers so much for giving this the time of day. What I used to do was an author note on each side of the chapter: the opener containing thanks to reviewers and a disclaimer, and the end with general remarks, but now I'm just going to cram both into the end so you don't have to go through my rambling to get to the end. Sounds fun, right? Awesome._

_I've had the idea for GBR rattling around in my head for a few years now, but could never exactly settle on how to write it. I knew that I was done with self/OC-inserts for the moment, mostly because if I wrote another one somebody would find my house and come smother me with a pillow to make me stop writing them, but knew I wanted to go in-depth with exploring the parts of Twilight Princess that were left out. (You'll see a lot more of the Ordon kids being slid into the Faron arc to a) fill in words and b) make it so that each chapter isn't just a lot of god/crazy imp banter. Hopefully, this works out for the better and kind of balances things out.) And I knew that I wanted to explore the "divines" of Hyrule and give them more lore than just _"we created the Triforce, woo, go us!", _namely Din because if the constant legends of Hyrule are a game to the gods then she's the one who always loses. Which makes her the most fun to base a story around, since she's going to be a bitter old deity for a long, long time!_

_Anyway, I'll shut up about background now. Thanks to _**SpaceyStitches**_ and _**MasterP0ny**_ for your reviews! (Wow, I guess I'm going to have to come up with a staple confectionary for the Bulbins to replace the Orochi Scout Cookies I used to be able to offer. Sorry, guys! I'll come up with something by the end of the Faron arc, I promise.)_

**Din: ... Senom299 doesn't own **_**The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess**_** or its corresponding characters. You're walking a very fine line asking me to do this.**

**Sen: Yeah, yeah, whatever, we make up the holy trinity of "roping people into contracts they didn't ask for". You, me, and Mids.**

**Din: ... wait, who's-**

**Midna:** _**Hiiii!**_

**Din: ... Oh, you're going to die a slow and painful death after this contract's up.**


	3. Ill-gotten Courage

_Her name had been Calliope._

_Din found it hilarious: a mortal who covered up her birth-given name with one that broadcasted her as a "muse" rather than a wild animal who could be hunted and killed at moment's notice had made a wish on a falling star at a _very _opportune time. She just couldn't believe she hadn't come up with the idea sooner._

_The affairs of Hyrule's past, present, and future: the concept of time was a relative thing. In the domain of the divines, time did not exist. Prayers from across timelines that wove themselves into fine braids of worlds that carried on with neither rot nor ruin carried to them like music to the ear. Sometimes, they would answer. Nayru, the Azure, answered the call of those who sought knowledge and peace of mind; Farore, the Jade, lent her hand to those who begged for strength to carry on through fear and sadness._

_Din, the Scarlet, had given up on answering the prayers of those who asked her for her blessing in love or passion. She forsook the people who asked her for power unless they had hailed from the desert or the depths of the hottest volcanoes, for those were the only places that she _had _any power. Every so often, the gods would gamble the lives below them simply to see who was superior, each choosing a champion and guiding that champion to his or her personal goal._

_The first time she had picked her champion, she had believed she had found perfection. A king of thieves who offered up nothing but words and a promise to glorify her name, and all he asked was the power to achieve his desires. He did not offer her material wealth or the carcasses of dead animals as entire civilizations had before (she had ensured that they burned out quickly; sometimes, literally). He offered straight words and desired the concept that was attributed to her. She held respect for that._

_And yet her sisters had played unfairly, because their champions found a common purpose in eradicating hers. Every time, the same series of events repeated itself. Din struggled to battle the crushing reality that her choice had condemned her no matter how noble the origins became or how she begged to choose another. The cycle of rebirth was set in stone for many, many millennia._

_Din did not pride herself on being a sore loser. She prided herself on not showing that she despaired._

_... She thought she had found the perfect solution: to seal the bastard away where he couldn't get anywhere near the other two champions. Her sisters agreed to the loophole, and that she could do as she liked for the next game. The message was conveyed to the Sages, and the deed might have been done if the pompous idiots hadn't botched the whole thing._

_And now her ex-champion was controlling not one, but two armies in the world below, and the blame immediately shifted to her when Farore's champion got himself killed within the third day of the game._

_The board had been reset, and they'd found their way around the initial hiccup with a bit of trial and error, but she would always find another place to set the blame than herself. It was in her nature, you see. So after realizing that if the dwellers of the Twilight hadn't allowed such an idiot to walk free and be conned by a false god-because no god was going to appear to someone as a giant, omniscient face, that was tacky and generally frowned upon-Hyrule wouldn't have been in that mess to begin with, rather than that if she had done something to keep her own champion from killing the Sage of Water, she resented the prison she had created instead._

_She needed to take out her frustration on something, even ages later. And when the opportunity presented itself to take out that frustration on the very idiot who commanded the Twilit forces without breaking the divine laws of appearing on mortal soil... Din believed she could work with that._

_So she took Calliope on a test run in another failed timeline to see the capabilities of her body and mind. It looked harmless, as if she were finally gaining back a faith in humanity._

_But boy, did the girl deliver. The Triforce of Courage into the palm of the god's hand, quite literally, that is._

_After all, nobody could stand up to the Goddess of Power and cheat death twice._

**0-0-0**

It never ceased to amaze Din just how dim-witted humans could be.

True, it had been a brief surprise to wake up many hours after her fall to one of the village women trying to force what she had called pumpkin soup down her throat. Din called it poison. She still wasn't sure how the old bag had managed to persuade her to drink it, but she _was _sure that as soon as her prison guard was satisfied, she had turned her back just long enough to allow the recovered goddess to bring the bowl down on the back of her head and escape the village.

She wouldn't call it a miracle that none of the other villagers had spotted her; she just called it skill. A few diversions and tossed frogs and she was running free, pausing only to dismember a few Bulbins for sport. Anyway, they'd tried getting in her way and had paid the price.

The forests of Ordona Province were more jagged rock-cliffs with foliage spread across than actual forest like the Faron Woods, and it led her to wonder exactly who the patron god of Ordona and the province _was._ The three goddesses of Hyrule made their areas of dominion clear: La_nayru_, El_din_, and… well, Faron was a bit of a stretch, but at least it was close enough that you could deduce without much trouble its connection to Farore. Any memory of an Ordona, Ordon, or anything else… that escaped her.

She ran through the deities she knew in her mind, stalking across the path that passed by the spirit's spring. She had half a mind to ask herself, but she figured if she just waited and mulled over it until she could make it to Faron's spring not far off, she could either figure it out herself or ask a light spirit that didn't seem to be braindead.

"So Majora's not provincial and she's been stuck in a mask for centuries, same with Oni. Unless the kid from earlier in this time took the Fierce Deity mask back with him… but then, he would have to be freed of the mask itself. Somebody locked him up for a reason and I'm pretty sure it was Farore, anyway. And Hylia can't go reincarnating herself all the time _and _hold provincial status like the rest of us, that was in the divine rules that _she _wrote…" Din frowned, though it was more due to a lock of hair falling in front of her face than the mystery at hand. But then, it was bothering her more and more by the second. If her first priority was to get back to Hyrule Castle with something that could potentially lop Zant's helmeted head right off of his shoulders, her second priority was figuring out exactly who Ordona was and who had made it.

So she continued to puzzle. "Then there's also our cousins of Lorule, but they can't have any effect on what happens here, so none of the guys would be-"

She hadn't even noticed that she had already crossed the bridge until she smacked face-first into a black wall. Incensed, she lifted a hand and rubbed her nose, staring up at the wall marked with what looked like Twilit symbols: extremely similar to the ones found on the beasts Zant had employed. An orange glow bled through the cracks, dying the ground around her with the illusion of dusk.

She frowned, pressing her palm against the wall. Solid as stone. That could be a serious problem. For all intents and purposes, her divine power should have enabled her to enter a state of matter that she had created to begin with, but it was as if the human body had forced her to give up so much of that power that she couldn't even do that much. Punching the wall, she found it hard enough to bruise the knuckles-and that hurt a bit too much for comfort.

She groaned aloud.

Maybe, just _maybe_, if she hadn't let her guard down earlier, she could have-

"You know, as funny as it is watching you hit walls all day and look surprised when they're still there, you might wanna pick up the pace. Sure, it looks like it's not moving _now_, but give it a day and it might just spread far enough to sap the power right out of that light spirit without those monsters having to do it."

Din gave a start and whirled around, finding herself face-to-face with that _imp_ that had accosted her at the spring. Wait, had she accosted or had they just met? … Accosted sounded better, it made her feel like she had a right to act victimized.

"_You_." She spat almost off of impulse, jabbing a finger in the imp's face. "This is _your _fault. If you hadn't warped me halfway across Hyrule, I could have returned to the castle and finished what I started, and-"

"_Okay_, hey, this isn't _my _fault. I want to knock Zant a couple times in the head as bad as you do." The imp frowned-only barely visible as the twilight bathed them both. Din noted how pale her skin had become in the effect. "But think of it this way-those monsters in the castle that dropped into the spring? They're all over Hyrule. If I hadn't been _so nice _and decided to just leave you there instead, you would have gotten torn to shreds. Either that or your injuries would have caused you to give out way sooner."

She dove into the ground, reappearing between Din and the wall. "So you should kinda be thanking me, don't you think? You're alive and out of Zant's sight, so you're not dead yet."

Din opened her mouth as if to retort, then slowly closed it again. The genie child had a point, whether she liked it or not. In this body, she was as good as defenseless if she kept relying on godly instinct rather than human.

"So, what're the magic words?" The imp bared her teeth in a grin. "_Thanks, Midna, for being so cool and saving my life_? I mean, I'm not picky."

She extended a short arm towards Din. "I can help you get rid of the Twilight around here and get back to Zant. I know more about him and how to beat him than you do. And maybe you can help me get some things I need to do that. Pretty sweet deal, right?"

The goddess eyed her warily-looking from the bright orange-and-yellow eyes back to the shadowy arm. "You're one of them." She stated bluntly. "You're one of their children and capable of speech, but you're still one of them. I can't trust you."

"Oh, that's _cruel_." Midna's grin dropped immediately. "You can't go comparing me to them. Like you just said, I can think and talk. They're all kind of mindless zombies right now. And unless you want to sit around near this village until you die, only a creature of the twilight can pull a being of light through. I'm your best shot right now."

Din stared past her at the wall, all but boring holes into the swirling symbols. Gods could battle wars on their own; hell, she had done it before. Mortals could not-least of all humans. And until she found a way to get back her divine power, it was true that the only way to move forward was by accepting help.

Slowly she lifted her hand and shook the imp's. "... You have a deal." She stated, voice still cold. "But if you cross me, I'll kill you."

"Oh, great, the feeling's mutual." Midna giggled and floated backwards, passing through the wall without trouble. Her voice sounded distant when she spoke again. "But there's something I wanna know before I let you through, _messenger of the gods_... it's not fair that you know my name and I don't know yours. We can't be friends unless you tell me your name."

"What, now you think we're friends just because I agreed to work with you?" Din balked, eyeing an orange hand that had to be the size of Midna's whole torso that had sprung from the wall and hung lazily in the air in front of her. She stalled; now that she had begun her lie, she needed a cover name. Calliope's wouldn't do it for her; she needed something more suited to her own personality. "... Scarlet. You can call me Scarlet."

"Ooh, no wonder you're so mean. You must like drawing blood, huh? Oh, hey, think fast!"

Without any further warning, the hand enlarged and shot out towards Din, wrapping around her and dragging her forward through the wall. It felt similar to warping in the divine realm; like a heavy gale passing you by, the world spinning a few times and a strange tingling sensation passing over your body in the transition.

The hand let go, and she collapsed onto the ground gasping for breath. Its grip hadn't exactly been comfortable. "What... what in all the hells was _that _for?" She demanded, staring up and immediately noticing that the imp was nowhere to be seen. _She lied to me. She's going to get more of those shadow beasts and she'll finish what Zant started. Damn it all, I knew I shouldn't have trusted he-_

A faint, but familiar giggle rang through the clearing, though the sound was distorted as if it had come from underwater. Din froze, jolting her head up and scanning the area with fevered eyes. The trees of Faron Woods bent menacingly, the hues of their bark distorted and turning as black as the illusionary rain from the twilit clouds. The grass felt dry and dead between her fingers. It was as if the twilight actually killed the natural world-well, of course it did. If the sun was blotted out, everything it had once touched would soon die. She was no gardener, but she _had _heard Farore say something similar before.

"Show yourself, Midna. _Now_." She growled. The initial reply was another bout of laughter, but the imp _did _elap in front of her from… gods only knew where. Other gods, she supposed. The goddess who did _not _know squinted for a moment-Midna looked… more colorful, as an understatement. It was a welcome change, she supposed; she could respect the crystal-like hair and its ponytail style, as well as the patterns of black and white that alluded to clothing. Her eyes were still unnervingly bright, and…

"You're kinda behind the times, aren't you?" She quirked what probably would have been a brow at Din. "Nobody talks like that anymore. Light-dwelling or twilight. Where do you live, a cave?"

"You have no idea." The deity grumbled, but was more preoccupied with the stone artifact being used as a common helmet. "How did you come across one of the Fused Shadows?"

The grin was immediately wiped off of Midna's face-she studied Din's own as if searching for a trick, reaching up and fiddling with the top of the artifact. "... How do you _know _about the Fused Shadows?" Her voice had grown quieter. _Good. Maybe now she'll stop patronizing someone of higher status._ Still, this situation called for some quick talking if she wanted a quick answer.

"I'm a messenger of the golden goddesses." She thought back to the conversation that had taken place in Ordona's spring. "I was given a briefing before I went to assassinate Zant and try to stem the spread of the twilight from its source. … Unfortunately, things didn't… pan out that way." She frowned instinctively, trying to recall how her sisters spoke. It was true that she had spent what felt like centuries hatching plans and trying to subtly change situations to her favor and rarely paid attentions to the actual affairs of the mortal plain, but she didn't feel like her manner of _speech _was a cause for concern.

… Or maybe it might be.

Maybe she _should _have paid more attention to the desires of mortals like she was supposed to. Or at least paid more attention to Calliope's way with words while she had the chance.

"The creation of the Fused Shadows is a fundamental in the history of Light and Shadow. If I recall, it's why your people were separated from these lands in the first place." Din nodded in Midna's direction. "So forgive me if I'm unsure of why you, a small child, is using a very priceless and very dangerous magical artifact as _headgear._"

Midna huffed. "I'm not a _small child_. I'm nearly an adult. And you must not know the half of what your _goddesses _have done, then. They let Zant's so called "god" into our world to begin with."

"That's also a lie. The Sages were to execute him." The goddess scowled. "They failed, obviously, and their decision to seal Ganondorf in the Twilight instead wasn't influenced by the authority of the Golden at all. Anyway, you didn't answer my question about the Fused Shadow."

"... My family owned it." The imp's demeanor was quieted again, and she glanced off to the side of the clearing. "It was passed down to me and I kept it with me when I left. The other three should have been in my world, but I searched all over the place. They must have been scattered throughout yours. The power of the Fused Shadows is so great, though, that if they all came together…"

Din narrowed her eyes. "You… were going to use them to stand up to Zant?"

"I told you, I'm against him. I'm just not going to launch an assault while I don't have any power like _some _people." Midna took a sharp breath and grinned again, canines glinting. "But, y'see, that's why it's such a good idea for us to work together! You want him dead for the good of the world of light, I want justice for my world. So you help me find the three Fused Shadows-and I already know where one of them is, so it'll be really easy, trust me-and I help you get to your goal. Maybe I'll let you deal the final blow." She winked. "What do you say, Scar?"

There was a pause as the black particles of clouds swirled down around them like rain. Somewhere in the distance, something ethereal howled; no beast could produce that sound, but perhaps a ghost.

Or a spirit.

"... Huh. You hear that?" Midna tapped her chin and leapt backward from Din as if to get closer to the sound's source, if only slightly. "Sounds like the lamentation of a light spirit whose light was stolen. You should probably snap to it if you're gonna help it, huh?"

"What makes you think I want to help one of the light spirits?" Din's voice was still sharp.

"Because you can't get into the Forest Temple with the twilight still hanging over it. What, your goddesses didn't tell you that much?" The imp rolled her eyes. "I'd love a shortcut inside too, but that Fused Shadow's inside. ... So, what're you gonna do, Scar? Don't blame _me _for your world's fate if that light doesn't get recovered-it's your job, not mine!"

She blinked suddenly as Din stormed past her, pulling up the cloak she wore as if to stave off the twilight from maybe seeping into her brain. "Hey, wait up! We're in this together, remember? _Partners_!"

The goddess didn't pause. "We won't be if you keep calling me that." She called over her shoulder.

"What, Scar?" Midna floated to catch up until they were practically side-by-side. "I mean, Scarlet's a cool name and all, but if you ask _me_ Scar sounds even cooler. Like you're some kind of master warrior already. Anyway, you're probably gonna get a few scars, bumps and bruises on this little journey."

"I didn't ask you. And don't call it a_ journey_, either."

"Oh, man, this is gonna be a _fun _adventure. I can feel it."

"Please stop."

**0-0-0-0-0**

_It's been awhile since the last update, hasn't it? Most of the delay was due to exams, then the flu, then the start of AP classes-it's been a kind of wild month. The update schedule for GBR's starting to look like it'll be monthly, but hopefully it'll speed up sometime. We'll see how this goes._

_No Kakariko interlude this chapter, but there'll be another one next time: they'll be spaced out until we actually get there._

_A note on Midna's words and actions as of this chapter: I know that they didn't really line up with those of her introduction in the game, but bear in mind that Din is a) capable of speech, as Link was and to many people's headcanons, is not, and b) has displayed her intent and power despite the sidekick's mocking words on her attempt to kill Zant right from the beginning. Hopefully she'll be much more realistic later, as will be their relationship._

_Notes on the "Calliope Arc": this is a character development device for Din. Please keep all limbs in the mine cart as the ride continues and pay no attention to what's behind the curtain. _

_Notes on Ordona: Seriously, does anyone know anything about this light spirit? You can match up the other three to the goddesses of Hyrule, but then you have this goat thing and its village that has a bunch of goats and basically there are goats everywhere and it leaves us to wonder if there is, in fact, a god of goats._

_... Wait, there is. We call it Goht. Forgot about that._

**Ordona: I feel like someone was talking about me.**

**[crickets]**

**Ordona: ... Senom299 does not own **_**The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess**_ **or its corresponding characters. ... Oh, look, grass.**

**Din: What **_**are**_** you.**


End file.
